As an 8-year-old I already looked in the Wehkamp guide to the pages with men in underpants. And then those models were often in white underpants.
White has something for me… 'fetishizing'. Have I discovered a new verb?
He on the side of the toilets and darkroom, full of leather and a tough look in his eyes. I'm wearing a Polo, Army pants and work shoes.
He pulled a fat cigar from his breast pocket. Grabbed it between his fingers, sucked at it and lit it. I just kept watching as if in slow motion. I saw the beautiful smoke. I smelled the smell of his cigar. For me, this was all about masculinity. I thought he was super cool. I felt like a little man to him. I was impressed, I did not dare to address him.
At the time I was still afraid to reveal my fetish. I wanted to fit into the perfect picture. House, tree, animal. A cigar fetish does not fit into that. I was insecure, very insecure. Now I post pictures of myself with cigar on social. I want to be myself. I want to discover my fetish and do things I like. I'm tired of doing things the way others want me to do. I discovered many more men with a cigar fetish online. I have gained a lot of followers lately and have come into contact with other men with whom I can share my desire.
I've even gotten fans or admirers if you want to call it that. When I see this photo I am now that man from 15 years ago in the Pullermanns bar…”
It started with a date who wanted me to wear a diaper. That excited me greatly. That was the first time I encountered it. That's when the quest started for me to discover more what it means to me..."
Sometimes they are curious and others are fine with it but don't need to know everything..."
I didn't have it anymore. What was I supposed to do? Suddenly I realized he was looking at me! How embarrassing and how should I react..."